Standing Up to
Sexual Harassment
It's not your fault. It never was your fault.
A Letter Before We Begin
It's not your fault. If you're reading this, you — or someone you care about — may be dealing with sexual harassment at work. Before we talk about laws, deadlines, or documentation, I want you to hear one thing clearly: you did nothing to cause this, and you are not to blame.
There was nothing you could have said, worn, or done differently that would have stopped a determined harasser. The fault lies with them — full stop.
I've practiced law for more than four decades, and I've sat across the table from hundreds of people working through exactly what you may be feeling right now. They've been nurse practitioners and physicians, software engineers and electricians, attorneys and executives, apprentices and administrative assistants. Smart, capable, accomplished people. And almost every one of them asked me some version of the same question: "Did I do something to invite this?"
The answer is no. Sexual harassment is about power and control — never about your behavior, your appearance, or your clothing. My experience has been that harassers are predatory by nature. They prey on people that are vulnerable: the single parent who needs this job, the person who is in a difficult or abusive relationship, the person who is incredibly shy, or to whom English is a second language.
This guide explains, in plain English, what sexual harassment is under Washington and federal law, the practical steps you can take to protect yourself, and the options available if you decide to take action. You don't have to decide anything today. Knowledge first — decisions when you're ready.
— Rod Stephens
Because I'm a lawyer, I have to say this clearly: nothing in this guide is legal advice for your specific situation, and reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is different. If you believe you've been harassed, speak with an attorney who focuses on employment law. This guide addresses Washington law and is intended for Washington employees.
What Is Sexual Harassment?
Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination. It includes unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that affects your employment, unreasonably interferes with your work, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.
That's the textbook definition — probably close to the one sitting in your employee handbook right now. But definitions only get you so far. What matters is what it looks like in real life: the project manager who "jokes" about what you were wearing at the client dinner. The physician whose shoulder rubs nobody talks about. The rainmaking partner everyone warns the new associates about. The Project Manager who makes the job site unbearable for the only woman on the crew.
If any of that sounds familiar, keep reading. The law breaks harassment into two types — and knowing which one you're dealing with helps you understand your options.
Quid Pro Quo
Latin for "this for that." A person with authority over your job offers or hints at benefits in exchange for sexual favors — or threatens consequences if demands aren't met. "Sleep with me if you want to keep your job" is the textbook example.
It's serious, but less common than it once was: most harassers know that overt extortion is damning evidence. Today's perpetrator is generally not that overt. The message is there—it is just implied. Because of the nature of this violation, many victims never come forward for fear they will be vilified, embarrassed, and, worse yet, rejected by those they love. If this happened to you, a confidential consultation will allow you to determine your options. Reach out to us when you are ready.
Hostile Work Environment
Far more common. This occurs when unwelcome conduct of a sexual or gender-based nature is severe or pervasive enough to interfere with your work or create an offensive atmosphere.
The harasser can be your boss, a coworker — or even a non-employee, like a client, patient, customer, or vendor. Your employer's duty to protect you doesn't stop at the org chart. "That's just how he is" and "She's harmless" are not legal defenses.
What the Legal Words Actually Mean
A few phrases in that definition carry most of the legal weight. Here's how they work in practice:
"Because of sex." This element is met when you're mistreated with sexual comments, groping, gendered insults, or other conduct you wouldn't face but for your gender. You don't have to prove the harasser was attracted to you — demeaning a woman because she's a woman counts.
"Unwelcome." Judged from your point of view — the victim's. Nervously laughing it off, or firing back a joke just to make the moment end, does not make the conduct welcome. That's a defense mechanism, and the law understands it. Plenty of my clients spent months being "good sports" before they realized they didn't have to be.
"Severe or pervasive." This is where most legal battles are fought. The law is not a civility code — a single off-color joke usually won't qualify. But conduct that is very severe (even once) or persistent over time, enough to seriously affect your well-being or ability to work, can. A manager who traps an employee in the copy room and gropes her can create a hostile environment in a single incident. So can a months-long drumbeat of "smaller" comments that never quite stops.
"Notice." If you are harassed by a manager, owner, or corporate officer, the company is deemed to be on notice and, assuming the other elements are met, liable for their conduct. When harassment is perpetrated by a coworker, the employer is on notice when you report the conduct, when the employer (managers, supervisors, and executives) observes the conduct, or in circumstances where the conduct is so pervasive the law deems the employer to be on notice. Once the employer is on notice of the coworker harassment, the employer is required to take effective remedial action designed to end the harassment.
Myth
"It only counts if it's physical."
"I joked back, so I can't complain now."
"He's harassing everyone, so it's not discrimination."
"I'm senior staff — this doesn't happen to people like me."
Fact
Comments, texts, images, and "jokes" can create a hostile environment. No touching required.
Unwelcomeness is judged from your perspective — coping doesn't equal consent.
Gender-based hostility directed at women as women is still "because of sex."
Harassment reaches every level — physicians, engineers, attorneys, and executives included. Status is no shield; sometimes it makes you the target.
Your Protections: Title VII & Washington's WLAD
As a Washington employee, you're likely protected by two overlapping bodies of law — and Washington's is one of the strongest in the nation.
Title VII — Civil Rights Act of 1964
- Prohibits employment discrimination "because of sex" — which courts have long held includes sexual harassment
- Applies to employers with 15 or more employees
- Enforced by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC)
- Protects against retaliation for reporting
- Damages available, subject to federal caps
WLAD — Law Against Discrimination (RCW 49.60)
- Generally broader and more employee-friendly than federal law
- Covers smaller employers — 8 or more employees
- No cap on compensatory damages
- Longer deadline to file suit (generally three years)
- Protects against retaliation for reporting
Washington's legislature didn't mince words when it passed the WLAD: discrimination based on sex "threatens not only the rights and proper privileges of its inhabitants but menaces the institutions and foundation of a free and democratic state." Our courts often read the WLAD to provide broader protection than its federal counterpart — which is one reason an attorney will usually want to preserve both your state and federal options.
Recent state and federal laws — including Washington's Silenced No More Act and the federal Ending Forced Arbitration Act — mean you cannot legally be forced to stay silent about sexual harassment, and you cannot be forced into closed-door arbitration of a sexual harassment claim through a pre-dispute agreement. Even if you signed paperwork on your first day that says otherwise, the law is on your side. These laws reflect a strong public policy in favor of letting employees speak up.
You have the right to say no.
And the right to be heard.
Harassment thrives in silence. Every protection in this guide exists because someone before you refused to stay quiet. You don't owe anyone your silence — not a boss, not a brand, not a career you worked hard to build.
Eight Steps to Protect Yourself
When you're experiencing harassment, you don't want theory — you want concrete guidance. These eight steps apply whether the harasser is your boss, a coworker, or a client. Every situation is different, but this is a strong starting point to protect both yourself and any future claim.
Read Your Employee Handbook
Find the sections on sexual harassment, complaint procedures, and retaliation. They tell you how and to whom to report, and what process the employer promises to follow. This matters more than most people realize: following the proper channel protects you, while skipping it lets the company argue you "never complained the right way." Handbooks often say "this isn't a contract" — but courts still look hard at whether you followed the reporting steps, and whether the company followed its own.
Report the Conduct — Promptly and in Writing
Report to the person or office named in the policy (usually HR or a manager). Be direct and specific: describe exactly what happened, using the harasser's own words and actions. Don't sugarcoat and don't minimize. "I don't feel comfortable around Bob" is too vague — say precisely what Bob did and said. Include every incident, even the embarrassing ones. You are not "tattling" or being "dramatic"; you are reporting misconduct you have every legal right to report.
Trust Your Instincts — and Escalate If Needed
If the first person you tell seems indifferent, dismissive, or a little too friendly with the harasser, go to someone else in management. You are allowed to escalate — the policy exists to protect you, not to trap you at the first desk you visit. Note any timeline the company promises ("we'll investigate and get back to you next week") and follow up if it passes quietly. Once the employer knows, the law requires it to act promptly and effectively. Quiet stalling is not compliance.
Document Everything — Carefully
Keep a private log: date, time, place, who was involved, exactly what was said or done, who witnessed it, and how it affected you. Write entries soon after each incident, while details are fresh. Memory fades; contemporaneous notes are gold.
Save harassing emails, texts, and images to a personal device. And forward nothing through company systems.
"Trust but Confirm" — Follow Up in Writing
After you report, send a brief, factual email summarizing the conversation. This creates a paper trail and prevents later disputes about what was said — or whether you said anything at all.
Report — and Don't Tolerate — Retaliation
Retaliation is any adverse action taken because you reported: demotion, bad assignments, cut hours, sudden "performance issues," exclusion from meetings, discipline, or termination. It is illegal under both state and federal law — and it is the single most common issue raised in EEOC charges. Sometimes the retaliation claim becomes stronger than the original harassment claim.
If something starts to feel like punishment after you reported, document it and report it immediately, in writing. If the problem comes from the top and no one inside the company will help, you can file with the Washington State Human Rights Commission or the EEOC — or involve a lawyer.
Take Care of Your Mental Health
Harassment is traumatic. Anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, dread on Sunday nights, and PTSD symptoms are common and completely normal responses to an abnormal situation. Seeking help is not weakness — it's maintenance, the same as physical therapy after an injury. If you broke your arm, you'd see a doctor; an emotional injury deserves the same care.
Many health plans and employer EAPs cover counseling. And there's a practical benefit too: documentation of your distress from a treating professional can support a future claim for emotional harm.
Be Careful with Friendly Advice — and Consult a Lawyer
Friends and family mean well, and their support matters. But unless your friend is an employment lawyer, take tactical advice — "just quit," "blast them online," "secretly record him" — with a healthy grain of salt. Some well-meaning suggestions can genuinely damage your case.
A consultation with an employment attorney (often free) helps you understand your rights, your deadlines, and your options — and a good lawyer can often resolve things without a lawsuit ever being filed. Watch the clock, though: deadlines are covered in the next section, and they're less forgiving than you'd hope.
Deadlines, Damages & Lawyers
Legal claims come with expiration dates. Knowing them — well in advance — keeps every option open.
In Washington, you must file a charge with the EEOC within 300 days of a harassing or retaliatory act to later bring a Title VII lawsuit in federal court.
Under Washington's WLAD, you generally have three years from each unlawful act to file suit in state court.
Suing a state or local government entity? Washington requires a tort-claim notice before filing. Talk to a lawyer early — these procedural traps catch people.
Talk to a lawyer well before the earliest deadline. Acting early preserves both your state and federal options — and evidence, witnesses, and memories are all stronger sooner than later.
What You Can Recover
Depending on the facts, damages can include lost wages and benefits (past and future), compensation for emotional harm, and your attorney's fees and costs. Under the WLAD, compensatory damages are uncapped, though punitive damages are not available; under federal law, punitive damages can be awarded in cases of malice or reckless indifference, subject to statutory caps. Because attorney's fees are recoverable and damages can be significant, most prudent employers try to resolve strong cases early — often before a lawsuit is ever filed.
Paying for a Lawyer: The Contingency Fee
Here's the part that surprises many people: you likely won't pay hourly fees at all. Many harassment attorneys — including us — work on a contingency fee. You pay no hourly fees out of pocket; the lawyer is paid a percentage of the recovery, and only if you win or settle. If there's no recovery, you generally owe no fee (you may still owe case costs).
This arrangement levels the playing field. It gives you a voice and an experienced advocate against an employer with far greater resources — and it aligns our interests completely: we only win if you win.
Questions Clients Ask Most
Will I have to file a lawsuit?
Can I be fired for reporting harassment?
I signed an NDA or arbitration agreement. Am I stuck?
The harassment happened months ago. Is it too late?
What does a consultation cost?
Should I just quit?
Moving Forward & Finding Support
Standing up to sexual harassment can feel like climbing a mountain in the dark. There may be moments when you feel isolated, or unsure you can reach the summit. But you are not alone — and there are brighter days ahead.
Every step you take — reporting internally, seeking legal help, or simply refusing to let the behavior continue — shines a light on a problem that thrives in silence. You may never know how many coworkers you protect by speaking up. But it's rarely zero.
Truth is powerful. Be honest about what happened, and don't minimize it to make other people comfortable. You didn't ask to be put in this situation — the only person who should feel shame is the perpetrator.
If your employer asks for a written statement, include every detail you can recall, even small or older incidents. Perpetrators have patterns, and thoroughness protects you from any later claim that something you left out was "fabricated." Keep a copy of everything you submit. And if you're in a union, remember you may have the right to a representative with you in meetings about this.
Where to Turn
Washington State Human Rights Commission
State agency enforcing the WLAD. 1-800-233-3247 · hum.wa.gov
U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
Federal enforcement agency for Title VII. 1-800-669-4000 · eeoc.gov
Your Employee Assistance Program (EAP)
Confidential counseling, often free through your employer or health plan. Check your benefits portal.
Synergistic Law
Free consultation with an employment attorney. 253-863-2525 · synergisticlaw.com
J. Roderik "Rod" Stephens, J.D.
Rod Stephens has practiced law for more than 40 years and is the founder of Synergistic Law, where he limits his practice to Sexual Harassment, Employment, and Severe Injury matters. He has earned Martindale-Hubbell's "AV Preeminent" peer rating — the highest available for legal ability and ethical standards.
Rod is passionate about fighting workplace discrimination and harassment, and believes in proactive solutions — working with employers on training and policy as well as standing up for employees. He represents clients from all walks of life, from hourly workers to executives, and is dedicated to empowering people with knowledge of their rights.
When he isn't working, you'll find him on a Washington beach or at a car show with his dog.
Ready to Talk? We're Ready to Listen.
No pressure, no obligation — just a confidential conversation about your rights and your options, with an attorney who has spent four decades standing up for people like you.
253-863-2525 Visit SynergisticLaw.com